Urban adventure March 23, 2024

Published by the Times-Georgian–March 16, 2024

http://www.times-georgian.com

by Joe Garrett

I’ve always trusted any man named Homer.

First, let’s look at the meaning behind the name. Homer is a masculine name, and the term “Homeric” is used to describe something epic or large-scale like Sid Bream scoring the winning run to send the Braves to the World Series or watching Gordon Lightfoot sing “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” which only lasts six minutes but seems like 60.

“Sing in me, Muse,” Homer writes in his masterpiece “The Odyssey.” “And through me tell the story.”

This is a story about donuts—the epic, holy kind.

“Where to?” asked my cab driver after I departed my plane outside of LAX.

“The UCLA campus,” I replied.

“Oh, that’s a beautiful campus,” he said. “Is this your first time going to Westwood Village?”

“Yes,” I answered. “This is my second time in Los Angeles, but I’ve never been to that part of town.”

“What do you have planned?” he asked.

“I’m here for an educational course,” I said. “However, right now I’m actually here for something bigger—donuts.”

“Donuts,” he laughed.

“I see the route you’re taking me and in about two miles we’re going to go right by Randy’s Donuts,” I said.

“Oh, so you know about Randy’s?” he cracked up in his Spanish accent. “I’ve been there many times, but I can only eat them every so often if you know what I mean.”

“Well, let’s go and eat a donut today,” I replied. “I’ve never been there.”

Randy’s Donuts is an iconic landmark with a 70 plus year history showcasing the giant donut atop its roof. It’s arguably one of the most famous donut signs (besides the flashing red one at Krispy Kreme) in the world as Randy’s has appeared in television shows, music videos and films.

The cartoon character Homer Simpson uttered one of his greatest lines about the magical powers of Randy’s when he declared—“Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do?”

The driver followed my wish and wheeled into the Randy’s Donuts parking lot.

“Here you go,” I handed him a donut.

“Oh, I’m not supposed to accept food from customers,” he said and paused about five seconds. “Well, if you don’t report me, I’ll accept.”

We downed a couple of donuts and for a little while there was peace in the universe, or at least the tiny universe inside our ride.

Homer Simpson knew what he was talking about when he declared, “Donuts can make even the worst workday go faster.”

If you’re craving a donut today, you don’t have to travel to Los Angeles (although I do highly recommend Randy’s). Locally, we have two of the best donut shops in America featuring Sprinkles across from the Carroll County Court House and another location near Mirror Lake in Villa Rica. We also have Carroll 168 Donuts on South Park Street. Both are outstanding and their delicious donuts are guaranteed to cure whatever is ailing you.

Don’t let the Food Police get to you. As Homer Zuckerman says in “Charlotte’s Web”—

“It’s the pig that’s unusual. It says so right there in the middle of the web.”

As of today, I’ve lost 17 pounds since the beginning of 2024 by eating healthier and going to the gym. In case you’re wondering, I haven’t abandoned donuts—we’ve decided to give ourselves a little space to discover new possibilities. Oh sure, eating these delicious treats every day will expand your trousers, but sometimes it’s important to enjoy life as Homer advises us from “The Illiad”—

“Any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.”

So, take that Food Police, and kudos to Homer, Homer Zuckerman and Homer Simpson.

Now, let’s all go eat a donut.

Flaring up March 17, 2024

Published by the Times-Georgian–March 2, 2024

http://www.times-georgian.com

by Joe Garrett

Happy National Shingles Awareness Week, everyone!

Blame it on the chickenpox! It’s time to feel like scratching.

For the last 12 years, I’ve toasted this week because I’ve survived another year without the reoccurrence of shingles. That wasn’t the case in 2012 when I thought a bad case of poison ivy appeared on the right side of my face only to learn it was something worse. Thankfully, it was a mild shingles case that lasted no longer than two weeks.

“It’s highly likely you’ll never get shingles again,” said local shingles expert Matt Carter after that initial bout. “The chicken pox you had in first grade unfortunately stays in your body, and that’s what flared up a dozen years ago. So, you should be safe, of course, unless you’re one of the six percent who get it again.”

Well, I’m now one of the six percent.

The shingles came raging back this month and took over the right side of my face making me look like the supervillain Two Face in the Batman series. Thankfully, I recognized it within the first few hours when it appeared and contacted my dermatologist David Shoenfeld who quickly stepped in to the rescue as the first 48 hours is crucial to starting medication so the virus won’t be prolonged.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one out of three people over the age of 50 will experience a bout with shingles before they die. Public service announcement—Talk to your doctor about the vaccine.

“Just make sure you communicate with the doctor’s office,” said Carter. “Make sure you don’t make the same mistake as your Uncle Walter.”

I’ll never forget that day when Uncle Walter walked into the doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had.

“Shingles,” said Uncle Walter.

 So, she wrote down his name, address and phone number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse came out and asked Uncle Walter what he had.

“Shingles,” he said.

She wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room. A half hour later another nurse came in and asked him what he had.

“Shingles,” answered Uncle Walter.

The nurse gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram and told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. An hour later the doctor came in and found Uncle Walter sitting patiently buck-naked and asked him what he had.

“Shingles!” shouted Uncle Walter.

“What makes you so sure?” the doctor asked.

“Doc, they’re outside on the truck!” said Uncle Walter. “Now, where do you want me to unload them?”

Once again, Happy National Shingles Awareness Week everyone! Thankfully, I’ve made a complete recovery. In the meantime, talk to your doctor. Get vaccinated. And, never forget what did the shingles say to the chickenpox—

“I’m just a more mature version of you!”